Too Close

Breathe…1….2….3…inhale…1….2…3…exhale…

I can do extremely well with things that usually needs patience of a monk (well, aside from Math, that’s a definite NO. I’ll hurl the freaking math book out the window after just 20 seconds of staring at a page just to rid myself of numbers that can make my head spin).

For a person to make me feel annoyed and makes me want to push a bag of rusted nails down his or her throat, that’s an achievement. Of course I won’t and instead I feel the need to reiterate these things to make them understand that the earth is not the center of the solar system, how much more themselves.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m very friendly. But sometimes too close for comfort is very disconcerting.

1. Poke your nose somewhere.  I’m the type of person who doesn’t force out information from people I talk to. If you offer to tell your tale, I’ll listen. If you get an email while we’re talking, I’ll leave for you to read it.  If you get a call from someone,  I’ll excuse myself even if you won’t or maybe just turn my back just so you can talk on the phone. I’ll let you be.  I may be curious but I know how to respect a person’s privacy and I demand you do as well with mine. In short, if it ain’t for you, back off.

2. All hail Almighty! Just because I’m open to any type of conversation you think that I’m open to you speak about your self so high up above the clouds, that it seems you’ve become untouchable. I’ve just known you for days and counting for crying out loud! Let me tell you something. You breathe the same air as I do so does the rest of the Philippines. Half of the population’s fart smell like hell, so does your fart. There’s a difference though. Some of them have the decency not to talk  shit like you do. So unless you’re a self made billionaire, be mindful of your comments, don’t say anything that can afflict me with acid reflux.

3. Playback mode. We’ve just known each other for just like days. You need someone to listen to you. I’m a good listener, and I can give a good advise in return (if I may say so). However, if we’ve already talked about the topic for like the nth time within the hour, and we’re just going around in circles. We ought to stop. It ain’t healthy for you (coz I might wring your neck) and it ain’t healthy for me either ( I’ll die of popped arteries from explaining or I stab my neck with a .3 g-tech pilot pen ). If you think that since I’m a new friend I can wallow in misery with you, think again. I can only sympathize to a certain extent, properly and healthily. No. I won’t indulge your self pity, sorry to break your bubble.

4. Earth to you! I hate repeating my self. Makes me waste time and energy. I will if I really need to. If  I call out your name for like th umpteenth time  and you don’t give me as much as a shrug for acknowledgment I won’t bother you again. I will assume you are busy. In turn DO NOT pester me when I’m already doing something when we could have had the conversation fifteen minutes ago. Don’t think we’re close enough for me to drop everything I’m doing. I’m kind. But I’m not a saint.

5. What? to the 100th power. It’s okay to ask, I really don’t mind. But if you ask  me what I’m busy with each time you see the slightest move of my hand, I might actually drop on the floor and have a seizure. We have what we call “me” time.

I know I seem to give away my trust like it’s a freebie taped on a bag of powdered soap (either you get a free toothpaste or a minute soap that after one wash it just melts away down the drain), therefore people develop odd behaviours towards me. Like divulging too much information to make me feel privileged that they let me in on their secret life, manipulate my feelings into liking them on the first day when they can’t. Worst, ask too much question you don’t know how to politely answer.

It’s nice that people will go far and wide to show their best foot forward, but in the process of doing so they come too close it get’s claustrophobic. I’m a big girl I don’t like being confined in small spaces.

People shouldn’t force themselves too much just to be accepted for it deteriorates the purpose of letting someone know who they really are.  Who we are ain’t just for display. It’s meant to be shared, not forcefully, but gradually.